100 Meditations

I want to encourage everyone to do the hard things in life. Whether its a pursuit of a vocation, mending of a relationship or something you need to say to someone. Do it! As a rule of thumb I try to remember that the hard thing is usually the right thing.

Last year I was in a situation that needed to change. The problem was that the only way it was going to change was by doing the hard thing. I tried to come up with another way that wasn’t so hard. But, as usual none of those ideas were going to get me where I and my family needed to be. So, I did the hard thing and I and my family are the better for it today.

What’s facing you today? Consider in all the choices you have to make and ask yourself which one is the hard thing. The hard thing is painful, usually against the grain of what everyone else is doing, and often lonely. Do it nonetheless.

This morning was like any other in my family. Up and the first two activities I do is pray and read my bible. Then, I got dressed grabbed the keys and it was off to take the two little guys to school. We got in the car and I started to back up and happened to take a peek out of my rear view mirror and I was shocked at what I saw. My wife’s brand new mini van was right behind me and I almost hit it! She usually parks on the other side of the drive way but I had a guest last night and he took her spot. When my wife got home she parked behind me.

What’s the point of all this? Well, I could  not help but to start thinking about routine as I got out of my truck and moved the van that I almost hit. I was so use to doing what I do that when I walked outside, got in the car, got the kids situated, I never even noticed that a brand new mini van was parked right behind me. I almost hit it!

So, here are a few things I thought about concerning routine.

One, what are routines? They are the daily application of principle. They are the habitual patterns we all have. Routines are the fruit of what we believe, our world view. If you want a good illustration of what routine is watch sports. Watch basketball players as they shoot foul shots and you will see routine. Watch golfers as they prepare to putt or strike the ball. Watch tennis players as they serve. Watch nascar pre-race routines. Routines are all around us and everyone has a routine.

Two, we all have routines but the important issue is are they good ones or bad ones. Some people are stuck in bad routines. You can see this in their  personal lives, in their marriages, with their kids, work, etc. Others have good routines and you can see that in the categories I mentioned prior. What kind of routines do you have? Are they constructive? Do they enable you to pursue what matters most? Do they hurt others regularly? Where has your routine taken you so far in life, and where are they taking you now? Evaluate your routine and determine whether or not it’s good or bad and make changes if you need to.

Three, don’t fall asleep in your routines. Like I did this morning:) Stay light on your toes. Your routine is the application of principle. The principle should never change but your application of it might need to. Sometimes we are very uncomfortable with changing our routine. Usually there are 3 reasons why we don’t like to mess with our routines. First, we are proud. Pride hates change. Second, we are lazy. Laziness is opposed to any action that equals more of anything for us. Third, fear is another reason we don’t like to mess with routine. All those what if questions come up in our mind. Remember, most of what we fear never materializes. The bottom line? Don’t fall asleep in your routines or you may hit your significant others brand new car:)

Hope this stretched your brain a little:)

There is a time to lay somethings down in order to focus on what matters most. The last 5 months has been that time for me. My family and I have moved from California to Maryland. When you move a wife and 5 kids its a challenge and an adventure. I hate moving but this was one move I actually enjoyed. We moved for all the right reasons and there were tons of providential encouragements along the way. Nevertheless, moving is moving and somethings had to give way. Well, now I’ll begin to blog and twitter more. You can follow me at 100meditations on Twitter. We are getting settled and beginning our new lives here in Maryland. Thanks for the support and encouraging words about 100. And, thanks for bearing with me in my time of silence while we moved.

One of the things I am learning through this process is how to deal with nagging guilt. You ever experience that? You know those things that keep bugging you to get done:) but you just can’t seem to find the time to deal with them. When it came to some of those things I would simply remind myself about what matters most. Having a clear set of priorities that are priorities indeed can help you when things begin to nag at you. At some point I really should go through all my old dress shirts and get rid of the ones that are jacked up. But, that will have to wait on things like; loving my wife, kids, homework, work, etc:) Don’t feel guilty about neglecting to go through and get rid of old dress shirts when you have higher priorities.

First, I am pretty convinced that the greatest blessing 100 has brought me is the connection I make with people I would probably never have even talked to. I try to make a habit to carry books with me to give away to people. To date I’ve only been turned down twice. I gave away 4 copies over the last 4 days to complete strangers. You know what’s cool? Once we start talking about 100 were no longer strangers. There is an immediate connection I experience with most people.

Second, what did we do before air planes? I’m not entirely convinced that things were better. Travel is crazy. I am in a particularly busy time in my life where I have to travel a lot these days speaking and stuff. I can’t imagine having to do this without a plane.

Three, serving can save you. In 9 cases out of 10 serving others will do more for your mood, spirit and life than anything else. Try it out! When I’m in the midst of a good navel gazing feel sorry for mike session few things pull me out and fulfill me as much as serving.

Four, so much for my twitter campaign:) I have one follower and a few people who say they can’t find me on twitter. Sheesh. I’m trying to give away books and can’t even do that! I’m a horrible marketer:)

You guys take care, until next time.

So, I’m standing in line to buy a powerade in Minnesota. I was waiting for my flight to Baltimore and was thirsty. There is a guy behind me having a conversation with what appears to be a work partner. Hey, I wasn’t ear hustling he was talking loud. You know how some people talk real loud when they are on their phones. Isn’t it embarrassing? The worst is when the plane lands and the cell’s fire up. Anyway, this guy was trying to illustrate a point and he said something so profound I had to blog about it. He said one time he was golfing. He was playing real bad and began to throw a fit. His friend looked at him and said, “John, you aren’t good enough to be throwing a fit and getting all mad. You only golf twice a year, what do you expect to do when you come out here. Get over yourself”. It seems like this boisterous business  man was using this illustration  about one of his life experiences  to encourage his manager on how to deal with an employee who was over reacting to failing to accomplish a task at work.

There are four things I got out of this.

First, I shouldn’t talk so loud on my cell phone or ear hustlers like me will blog about it and might even put it in volume 2 of there book series.

Second,  I’m prone to being proud and thinking more highly of myself than I should. I have done the same thing on the golf course. In fact I’ve done the same thing in other areas of life where I am not that good.  Take packing for example. I am not good at packing unless  its throwing stuff in a dumpster. That’s my kind of packing. I have often been so frustrated trying to pack. I need to get over myself. It’s definitely not my strength, I don’t do it often enough for it to be and I have no desire for it to be. I should ask my wife for help more often:) Cooking is another area. There have been a few times, ok very few, where I have been upset on how my top ramen came out. In all of these things there is a sense that I need to get over myself. I’m not that good of a cook and I don’t cook often. Parents, help your kids with this. I have seen some kids throw a fit over not being able to do something. Honestly, some of our kids are not that good at things. Allowing them to throw fits isn’t healthy for them. It indirectly teaches them to be proud.

Third, I should be humble. If I’m honest with myself  I would have to confess that I’m mediocre  at most things. You know what, that’s ok. Or is it? If you are full of yourself it’s not ok. We can’t be great at everything. We should aspire to be really good at a few things in life and the things we do twice a year, lets humbly accept a bogey or two, or 20. Or, better yet punt and get help.

Fourth, I am my biggest obstacle in life. I remember watching a video on you tube where a couple of successfull men were being interviewed. During the interview one man was asked to explain the biggest obstacle he has had to face in pursuing success in his life.  He answered, “me”. That answer resignates with me. It’s empowering, humbling and so helpful. Do yourself a favor today. Figure out the area or areas in your life where you need to get over yourself and just do it.

Follow 100 meditations on twitter. I’ll be posting a lot of my new meditations on twitter. I find that it suites my style of writing and expression. To look me up search for 100 meditations. If you don’t know what it is or would like to know more go to twitter.com and find out. It’s free and really easy to use. My only warning is that if you get addicted you have to read meditation #14 on are you addicted:)

As an added incentive I will ship out a free copy of 100 to the first person to follow me on twitter. I will also ship out an additional 10 free copies for the 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th follower on twitter.

Wow!

Articulate, insightful, balanced and inspired. Amazing job you did with that book. Reading through every page was truly like visiting an old friend. I gained some new insights about myself and learned about some of your challenges as well. You really have been through the ringer…What is graceful is how you have used that experience to help others. I just finished reading Osteens ‘Living Your Best Life Now’ and you clearly keep him in good company..:-)

As Ricky Carmichael would say I’m super pumped. Thanks to everyone for reading 100 and for investing in my life.

First, you need to be able to listen. This means going through extended amounts of time without saying a word. It also means that you not only listen with your ears but with every other part of your body. You need to employ your eyes, face, mouth, limbs and body towards the person who is talking. One of the greatest compliments you could ever receive is for someone to tell you that you are a great listener. Learn to listen.

Second, you need to be able to communicate that you understand the person who’s talking to you. Something simple you can do to see if you are doing this is to try to summarize what someone is saying to you. Another thing you can do is to pose a question like this, “so what you are saying is, or so am I understanding you right that you don’t think its a good idea to drive to the north pole tonight?”.  Covey has a good principle when he says, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”.  If you want to waste time and tear down what you are trying to build then ignore what I’m telling you here. In most conversations and arguments understanding the other person can solve the problem 50% of the time. Work on making sure you are understanding what your spouse, kid or friends are actually saying.

Third, you need to be able to communicate. I have met many people who have never learned to explain what they are feeling or thinking. Whether it was an abusive upbringing or the fact that they have spent too much time with selfish people, they are incapable of communicating. Here’s a few tips for you. One, examine yourself with questions prior to speaking with someone else. If you work on being clear before you speak with someone there is a very good chance you will be. Two, when you talk to people watch for signs that they aren’t understanding you and go beyond that by asking them if they are following you or understanding you. Sometimes we think we are being clear but we are foggy. Three, ask people who you think are good communicators if they would be honest with you and give you some constructive criticism. One of my favorite quotes on communication is by Spurgeon, “you must not only speak so as to be understood, you must speak so as to not be misunderstood”.

Fourth, you need to make time for your relationships. In this time pressed age you need to make sure that when all else is going every which way you make time for what matters most. In my opinion relationships should never be systematically  neglected do to busyness. One of the men who coaches me has resolved to spend at least 1 hour of uninterrupted time with his wife every day. Folks its usually a very simple equation. Show me how much time people are investing in their relationships and I can usually tell you how well their relationship is doing.

Fifth, you need a loving paradigm to guide you. I’ll be honest with you. For me, the paradigm that I use and that I think you should use is the gospel. If you are not familiar with it, get a bible and read one or all of the four gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Listen to Jesus and hear what He’s saying. Some people may have the 4 characteristics above but they are operating in a hurt, baggaged packed past that keeps them from having a thriving relationship. Others are often sabotaged because they have an unloving paradigm they work with. If you have never learned to forgive, never been deconstructed in love and built back up, never known unconditional forgiveness, patience, and mercy beyond what you deserve, you will have a hard time surviving and thriving in relationships.

Hope these things are helpful.

Twitter goes right along with my way of thinking. It’s short, to the point, and allows me to communicate my thoughts during the day. Look me up.

Life has been busy but not too busy for the things that matter most to me; God, wife, kids and serving people. I’m not only alive but feeling better than I ever have in life. I want to thank Brian Howard for coaching me and investing in my life. I know so many of you are praying for me and supporting me in different ways. Thank you! Words cannot express how indebted I am to all of you. 

100 is still moving and bringing me a lot of joy. This past sunday I addressed a crowd and was introduced by a military command chaplain who had some good things to say about my book. Again, I want to thank him, Roger E. Vanderwerken and everyone who invited me to speak. I also want to thank Susan at Casa Java for allowing me to put my book in her store. It’s a hit up there! I sent 100 to an old college buddy and when I didn’t hear from him I emailed him and asked if my book turned him off. This is what he had to say, “”No - sorry MC!  I loved it.  I read it within the first 2 days I got it.  A funny thing happened though,  I’ve found myself thinking about different sections of it ever since.  I’ve only kept 3 books by my bedside table - the Bible, my current book, and 100 Meditations.  I basically read or re-read a meditation every couple of days.  I love how personal it is and how approachable it is. Sorry I haven’t gotten back - just busy (good busy).” If you haven’t got a copy get one today.